My story...

I was born and raised in The Bronx of New York City in 1985 with petite-mal epilepsy, which I had for the first 11 years of my life. Living with this disease felt like sleep-walking through life. I went to school and had friends but it didn't really feel like everything was real. As a child, I also had rheumatoid arthritis. From the combination of this pain and the multiple medications a day, I was not very social or even aware of others.

My dad and I in the Bronx Zoo

Despite the fact that I grew up in a church that taught the Bible, at age 11 I still didn't fully understand what it meant to have a personal relationship with Christ. It wasn't until some friends from the teen’s group were getting baptized that I even questioned my parents about my relationship with Christ. My dad was a student of the Bible and biblical history, so I knew from a young age that I could trust his search for God. When I asked, my parents explained that the reasons these people were getting baptized was to publicly announce their love for Christ and dedication to live for Him. So I asked them why I couldn't get baptized and they told me because I had never prayed to receive Christ as my personal savior! "WHAT?!" By this time, I was slowly weaned off of the medication and beginning to really understand what was happening around me. I couldn't believe that all this time I grew up in church and had NO idea that I wasn't actually going to be in heaven with God always.

After my parents explained what it meant to receive Christ as Savior and accept Him as Lord, they asked if I would like to pray with them. I rejected their offer because I was so angry (prideful) for not already knowing. Even in that decision alone, I recognized how sinful I was and how my sin simply kept me separate from God. Later that evening I asked God to forgive me for my stubborn self-will and rejection of Him. I prayed that He would forgive me of ALL my sin and restore my relationship with Himself through the sacrificing replacement of His Son. The next day I reported to my parents that I prayed to receive Christ and I was then baptized at the Christian camp with several others. Later that day, the pastor preached about so many making the decision to follow Christ but not following through. I decided that would NOT be me! There was NO way I was going to pray to receive Christ and punk out. I was taught to properly represent my earthly father as a sign of respect and humility and I vowed to do the same when it came to representing Christ. This was, in retrospect, more of a prideful decision than a humble one but a decision it was. Until this point in my childhood, I didn't even realize that a relationship with Christ was essential to salvation. I thought instead that as long as I obeyed mom and dad, went to church, read my Bible, and prayed then I would be fine. Unbeknown to me, I was working to influence God’s love for me and not accepting it as a free gift.

Jen & I (as a student) in 2005

My freshman year in college, I met a woman who lived out what she believed even if it made her feel uncomfortable. She lived life before me like no one I had ever met before. My parents were and still are practicing Christians, but there is something about meeting someone single and young who loves the Lord & lives like it. I know she said we believed in the same things but I had not really met anyone who was as vulnerable with his/her mistakes and honest in their growth. After all, all my religion required of me was humble joyous obedience. She, however, had some sort of passionate excitement and personal connection with our God. She called Him Abba and meant it. She called Him master and displayed it. Still prideful, I thought I knew all that she would try to teach me but I actually never knew how to apply these things to my life and let it change me into who God wants me to be.

Throughout the course of the next four years, I studied her as she lived this life before me. She taught me a few essentials to living the Christian life as an out pour of one’s love for the Creator. Not only did I learn who God truly was, but now I understood why I was who He created me to be. I learned apply the scriptures to my life and to love others as God loved me on a richer deeper level where it was no longer an obligation or rule.