When I think about God's works, I'm saddened by and even disappointed in my preference of the technologies of today. I was born and raised in New York City and very little amazes me or makes me wow. I remember the first time I went to Florida with my family to visit friends & family who boasted about how amazing the light show at Disney was. Based off of their description, my family and I were excitedly awaiting the spectacular show! As the show began, I remember thinking "I've seen this before, but I guess it's nice to see it in Disney World". It really didn't baffle me or cause me to be in awe at all. I had grown up in the city that never sleeps! I had seen the NYC 4th of July Fireworks on TV and from over the river near my home in the Bronx! I had been to Times Square many times at night where the sky is constantly lit with a plethora of colors! I was numb to the live up close version in Florida because I was so used to my own.
I've realized lately how in a similar pattern, that's so effectively dimmed the potential brilliant view of God, the I AM. In Bible Study yesterday there were several opinions about what that could have meant, "I AM". Did God give Moses a vague answer (Exodus 3:14)? Did God give him a very specific answer in His way of using our language to captivate all of who He is as to say He simply "is"? I don't know, I'm not sure yet. But I know God wanted to get across to Moses (which we all agreed to) that He is sufficient enough that Moses doesn't need details, like a name that mankind has given Him. He simply needs to trust. I realize I similarly have a dulled view of who the I AM truly is. Like the light show in Disney that didn't amaze me. It's as though I've become numb to hearing that CHRIST DIED ON THE CROSS FOR MY SINS. It becomes a ritual phrase Christians use without an ounce of brain energy or a phrase unbelievers use to mock us.
Why does it seem like it was more possible to be deeply intimate with the Father before mankind started to create a new world? Well for one, there was more discipline in the old days. We could blame it on the generations. For another, there is more technology now...easier to be busy, we can say. But really I think we've chosen to dumb ourselves down by choosing the most comfortable convenient route little by little, day by day. There is very little reliance on the Holy Spirit when I want to do something nowadays. Think of the shepherds in scripture for example. They look up at the sky and they can see the glory of God and be grateful each time because they have light to work and night to cool down. They have rain to care for their crops and sun to feed them. They have clouds to shade their animals from dehydration and they have stars to lighten the night. I look up in the sky and it's like I've become numb. Don't get me wrong, as an artist I LOVE THE BEAUTY of every piece of the heavens, but am I grateful for that which lays in the heavens beyond that which is pleasing to my eyes? Not even rarely.
I heard it said that our sun is the smallest known star in the universe and yet we can fit 1.2 million earths in our sun! Whenever I stop to meditate on and savor the amazing gift Jesus is in my life, I HOPE I AM humbled and overwhelmed with a sense of repentance, followed by gratitude and then with joy...AND NOT JUST NUMB TO THE THOUGHT.
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