Where is God in the midst of pain & suffering?

Praying for the the families who lost loved ones in Newtown, CT ... Jesus, comfort the families and friends who are suffering from the loss of their loved ones. This world is getting darker and darker =/

This was a status that awakened me to the heart-breaking news yesterday morning. I was working from my new Elizabeth apartment, where I do not have television and only have limited internet. Suddenly my phone buzzed with Facebook notifications, informing me of the terribly horrifying shooting at an elementary school in Connecticut. Knowing I didn't have television, Christa (pictured below, click here for a recent story on her) quickly called me to fill me in on the details. I couldn't help but cry out to God, wondering why.

I immediately searched for scripture of comfort, like 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 to send to her and post on the Jersey Metro Cru and Kean Cru facebook pages. Later, Christa posted this status:

I am praying for those families who lost their loved ones in this terrible tragedy ! I couldn't stop the tears from falling today. God I don't know why you allowed such an awful thing to happen today ... but I know that if anyone understands heartache, pain and suffering it's you. GOD YOU GAVE UP YOUR SON JESUS FOR A FALLEN PEOPLE WHO DID NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU. YOU WERE SCORNED, BEATEN, MOCKED, TORTURED, HUNG ON A CROSS and DIED FOR A PEOPLE THAT WOULD REJECT YOU. WOW ! I can hope in a GOD who understands my suffering and my heartache. God is relatable and he allows things to happen to show how fallen this world is and how much it is crying out for it's Redeemer.

I was so proud to read this status of hers. When I called to discuss her appropriately biblical perspective and compassion for those suffering, Christa told me she was inspired by Alyssa Bethke. She is the wife of Christian Spoken Word artist, Jefferson Bethke. When I went to Alyssa's blog to read her perspective of yesterday in light of our Savior, I found such an encouraging article. Alyssa prays at the end:

Thank you that You are not a God who is high on His throne and looks away when evil happens, but rather You are a God who is high on His throne and who came down to earth to suffer and die for us- for sin- for our sin- and who rose again. You are a God who intimately knows our suffering, who suffered more than we will ever know. And rose again, offering HOPE and life for us.

Car Updates

I'm currently working with mats.org to get a car in my price-range that is small (because parking in Jersey City is a nightmare) and gas-effiecient (because I drive 200 miles a week)! I've made a faith goal of $10k to purchase a vehicle that would meet my needs. The combination of what my insurance company will be giving me and my tax-refund will leave me just about $1500 short of that goal.

I'm currently waiting to see how God will provide the rest of the money or which car He will provide for me. I was considering a hybrid, but the potential battery maintenence I will need to pay for doesn't really make it worth it. Last car I had, Toyota Yaris, is the most gas-effiecient car I know with 35-38 miles/gallon.

Please pray I make a wise decision that would help me to continue my ministry work here in NJ for many years to come. I'm so excited to see how God will work!

Still I will Praise You!

"Oh no, you never let go through the calm and through the storms. Oh no, you never let go every high and every low. Lord, you never let go of me." - Matt Redman


Our God is unfailingly GOOD!
So then why do I so often, want to know what is next? I want to know where I can go and what I can do to get to where I think He wants me to be. I want to know what's next in life but God says "Be still and know that I Am God!". Paul prayed for the thorn in his flesh three times and I have prayed so much more so, waiting...when will it be my turn to be on campus, at full support? When will it be my turn to serve college students. And He says "Be still and know that I Am God."


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5,6


God will always prove Himself faithful and good! Look at the story of Naomi (book of Ruth) or the one of Job. I'm sure she thought that God abandoned her. I'm sure she asked "why?!...why did I have to go through this?" My story is nothing compared to Naomi's or Job's but in a similar manner, I so badly want to ask "why?" sometimes. Why am I still raising support two years later?! Why can't I find the consistent support that I need? But God had a plan for her life and continues to have plans for the lives of His children, including me! I might not know His plans, but I know I'm in His hands. I know His Word will comfort me, like it has. In His providence, He will accomplish His will for my good and His glory!
As Pastor Ray Cole says: God is unfailingly good!


Contact me for the rest of the story about this process of raising support.