Anxious much?

In Matthew 6:26-34, Jesus is nearing the end of His sermon on the mount, His first sermon recorded in the book of Matthew, and He talks about anxiety.

This summer I will be attending the Institute of Biblical Studies, taking four classes in 4 weeks. I don't typically struggle with anxiety, but everything about this summer assignment seems to encourage anxiety. Financially speaking, I need to raise $3000 more than usual to pay for this summer. Regarding time, I need to spend it very wisely since I will be in class Monday-Friday 8-4 daily for four weeks. Socially, I will have the opportunity to meet and form relationships with the new staff class of 2012 and the older staff taking classes like me.   As a matter of emotion, I will be away from most of my friends, family, students & church.

Seems like a lot to be concerned over to me. In fact, I'm really scared to do it. However, last night I was listening to a lecture by Tim Keller where He quotes an author who says "If your actions don't match your spoken beliefs, then they are not your beliefs". Convicted, I immediately began to apologize to God for once again not trusting Him, despite His perfect record of faithfulness.

He will come through...even if I have no idea how.

Giving Time of the Year

Merry Christmas!  I pray you experience joy as we remember our Savior coming to dwell among us! 

At this time of year we tend to look back and think of all the Lord has done in our lives throughout the year.  I pray that you are able to take the time to think of the ways the Lord has been working and what He’s been teaching you.  As I reflect back I realize that resting in God’s full control has been a major theme of my life this year.  For instance, Kean Cru doubled in size and is continuing to grow hungry for more of Jesus (all I did was pray & show up). Over Summer Project I was able to pour into women at random who dealt with similar issues as I have these last two years (only He could put us together). Then, even more beyond my control, several students gave their lives to Christ this past semester! Praise God!

Liscet Duran (Kean Cru leader I disciple pictured left) and I have been learning this lesson together: It’s not easy to surrender control in every area of my life, especially when I think I know what’s best. For example, there are times when I’m sharing the Gospel and will continue to emphasize God’s love, hoping for some reaction from the listener that will show I’m speaking clearly. There are other times I want the Kean Cru leadership team to do things a certain way so that meetings would run more smoothly (as though God can’t work through all things). Even recently I planned to meet with Anita, a student I disciple at New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT) in Newark, and her roommate. Since NJIT does not allow students to do surveys on campus or share their faith openly, Anita and I planned to share with her roommate. The problem was we didn’t have time to discuss a game plan before entering the field. At the end, we had little spiritual conversation that didn’t lead to the Gospel. This is still a relationship we are pursuing for the sake of giving Jess (the roommate) an opportunity to know Christ. However in my own hands, I want to work at it without rest until we have a clear conversation.

One of the most difficult struggles I’ve been faced with is resting God’s full control of my finances. I raise support to cover my daily needs as well as ministry needs like conferences, materials and missions trips. Your partnership allows me to disciple and share the love of Jesus to college students from all across the Mid-Atlantic region. I’m so excited for what God is doing at Kean University with the leaders and members of Kean Cru as well as with Anita at NJIT. In order to be involved with discipleship & come alongside these future leaders in ministry, I want to remain undistracted and rest in His promise to provide my needs according to His will. Low support has a way of distracting me and I am currently about $1,300 short on monthly support.

Would you prayerfully consider a special gift or raising your monthly support at this year-end to help offset some of my needs?  Please make Checks out to Campus Crusade for Christ and enclose it in the envelope provided or you can give on-line at http://give.ccci.org/give/0597677

Thank you for any amount you give.  I would not be able to serve without your partnership through prayer and financial support.  Thank you for your faithful support, prayers, and encouragement!

In His Amazing Grace,

 E. Tabitha Morales

Free from Ctrl

This song, Hold Me - Jaime Grace and Toby Mac, is one of those songs I hear and wish I would always believe. Laura Story sings a song called "Blessings" that does a good job of reminding me of the truths I need to stay focused on.

Backdrop: (pray please)

• I haven't had an apartment since the end of July and the school semester started the end of August. So I've been staying with my parents on the weekend and friends/students throughout the week as I work on campus at Kean University. 
• My support has been $1200/month lower than I need it to be so that I can fully engage college students with the revitalizing story of Jesus Christ. So I've only been working at Kean University for the most part and working on support the rest of the time.
• My tire blew an unexpected expense through my emergency fund the second day of work.
• My laptop has been unexpectedly been shutting down on random occasions.
• Kean Cru has been having problems getting a room for it's weekly Bible studies.

What God's been teaching me...

This weekend I was able to go to Baltimore with our Jersey Metro Intern, ChiChi, and a few NJ students to meet up with staff and students from around the region to discuss and plan our upcoming winter conference, RADIATE2011. Immediately after this conference, I decided to drive to Virginia with a student of mine to go visit friends & students from Hampton Beach Summer Project 2011. It was Saturday afternoon and I had Monday off since I had just finished working a 65 hour work week. I've obviously been struggling with finding rest without a place of my own and I knew that if I went to NJ or NY, I would probably work in one way or another. So I decided I need to get away.

Truth:
On this 5 hour drive to Virginia Tech & 8 hour drive back up to NJ, I learned that I have a strong desire to be in control of all things in my life and cause them to work my way - "the good way". I tend to forget God's promises and truth that He loves me and has plans to prosper me and not to harm me (Jeremiah 29:11). I see my circumstances and wonder where is God's hand, but He said He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrew 13:5). So then can I believe Him even when I don't see Him working? Can I believe His word, which says He is good & all that He does is good (Psalm 119:68)?

Focus:
This song, "Tear Down the Walls" by Hillsong, reminds me that I can believe Him because there is a greater purpose to being here in this life than to be comfortable and adjusted in my life-seat. I can BE FREE from the need to control because He's trust-worthy. Christian rap artist, Lecrae, says it beautifully in his song "Background"- "I can play the background cuz I know sometimes I get in the way". He can handle my life.... I just gotta trust Him and see it from His perspective. Kinda gets me excited for what God is going to do at our Fall Retreat this year entitled "focus - Change your perspective. Find your purpose."

NOW... (praise time)

I can see God's goodness in all these things that appear painful.

• Because I don't have an apartment, I've saved on rent and utilities for two months and haven't had to pay with students, friends and family.
• Because my support is low, I've been able to talk to more students about what I do and the importance of giving to God's kingdom work.
• Because my tire blew & my laptop may be at the end of it's working life, I'm excited for what God's going to do on campus to upset the enemies schemes!
• Despite Kean having problems getting a room for their weekly meetings, we've had MANY freshmen students come out to our meet & greet, pizza & God event, and bowling night out... people know we are on campus! This is key to our movement! PRAISE JESUS!

Still I will Praise You!

"Oh no, you never let go through the calm and through the storms. Oh no, you never let go every high and every low. Lord, you never let go of me." - Matt Redman


Our God is unfailingly GOOD!
So then why do I so often, want to know what is next? I want to know where I can go and what I can do to get to where I think He wants me to be. I want to know what's next in life but God says "Be still and know that I Am God!". Paul prayed for the thorn in his flesh three times and I have prayed so much more so, waiting...when will it be my turn to be on campus, at full support? When will it be my turn to serve college students. And He says "Be still and know that I Am God."


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5,6


God will always prove Himself faithful and good! Look at the story of Naomi (book of Ruth) or the one of Job. I'm sure she thought that God abandoned her. I'm sure she asked "why?!...why did I have to go through this?" My story is nothing compared to Naomi's or Job's but in a similar manner, I so badly want to ask "why?" sometimes. Why am I still raising support two years later?! Why can't I find the consistent support that I need? But God had a plan for her life and continues to have plans for the lives of His children, including me! I might not know His plans, but I know I'm in His hands. I know His Word will comfort me, like it has. In His providence, He will accomplish His will for my good and His glory!
As Pastor Ray Cole says: God is unfailingly good!


Contact me for the rest of the story about this process of raising support.